Living lost

My whole life Iv'e had moments where I was down and regreted ever entering this world.
But then I remebered that lifes not easy you just have to make the best of the worst. It's true when people tell you not to take what you have for granted, because there are people out there who have way less and have it way worse, and you never know how quickly what you have can be taken away.
Life is a long journey that every person finds them self lost in at one point or another. Is it possible to be the lost from the beginning? Your whole life spent trying to find where you "belong" in this spinning confusion that we live in. I've never really understood where I should be or where I should go, I just do what is in the moment. I think about the future, then I find that im thinking more about avoiding it rather than controling it.Somedays I find that not only am I avoiding the thought of where my future will bring me, but I also find myself avoiding me. I feel loving and caring and maternal. These qualities I focus upon everyone else, but myself. I feel I can fix other people, shelter thier needs. But how can shelter someone else when I myself need to be sheltered. In the back of my mind I know that It is me and only me that that will be there in the end. But I feel that some how if I fix everyone else and make them strong then that will make me strong. I feel like a coward letting things that have happened and people from the past control me. I feel so many differat things, but expressing these is where i find myself inspired. Inspired to make beauty.
Lifes funny like that, you get beauty from pain, and lust from love.